Hello Dearest Blog reader! My name is Sara Mandeville. I am a 37-year-old mother of 5 beautiful soon-to-be-adults and one on the way, due in May! I am starting this blog as an answer to a few people in my life that have asked me to write a parenting book. I personally have some trouble with the idea of most parenting books. Just because every household is so different. However, I have come to the conclusion that I have been given a very unique set of parenting tools and it would be sad not to share. I hope that this blog will be a place of retreat, like coming home, home to the place we wish we all could go for some comfort, centering, and maybe a few words of wisdom with a big hug attached and a kiss on the forehead!
A Bit About Us: We are a second generation homeschool family. We having been building and running a straw bale maze family entertainment event in Bozeman Montana for 9 years. We also run a bungee trampoline system at our local farmer’s market in the summer months. Primarily I am a domestic engineer but I periodically enjoy working as a birthing assistant and helping my friends with catering.
My husband Dale is a closet computer geek (building software in his spare time), manages a pediatric wheelchair company, business consultant, and carpenter. Also, he is a very patient loving father. Together we really do make a great team as long as we don’t fight for eldest child status!
Dale actually named my blog; reminding me of a quote that came from my amazing late mother. She would say, “My goal is not to raise children, but to raise adults”.
She was truly the most wonderful, loving, honest, and quirky woman I have met to date. I think that I would classify her as a classy hippie. I once saw a quote painted on a bathroom wall that I feel summed up her personality perfectly. “Women are like tea bags- the hotter the water the stronger they get!” – Queen Elizabeth
My mom died of ovarian cancer when she was 63 years old. I remember vividly thinking that she was one of the strongest doses of a human being (in a good way) I had ever known. Like a really strong cup of coffee, yet with the complexities of a high quality exotic tea.
Growing up I was so often embarrassed by my mother’s boldness. To be honest I hadn’t ever come to terms with how much her boldness effected people until I was sitting in awe listening to the testimonies of those who shared at her celebration of life. The common theme was how she loved so sincerely and how the things that she said changed their lives…for the better!!! Shocker! I was inspired on that very day to be more of who I am supposed to be in this life – not to waist precious time – because life is so short. When we are done here, we are done. We don’t live forever. From that moment on I have worked to live in the current and look forward to the future each day. It is a process to come alive.
You may be wondering why I am talking so much about my dear mother, when this blog is supposed to be about raising adults! I owe so much of what I know to my parents. The foundation of my parenting started with my parents and so much of my philosophy originated with them. My dad and she broke the mold of their families on all levels. (They were rebels indeed, I may explain more in a future blog post!) They had determined that what they saw as a trend in the American family had very disturbing results. They were sad to see and experience the lack of connectedness and true desire for families to be together; to enjoy time spent with each other. My parents did a lot of soul searching and some reading about other cultures that had tighter family relations. They had already decided that “if” they were going to have children they were going to do things differently than the typical American family model. Miraculously, my brother and I came late in life. My mom was so shocked that she could even have children that she cherished each moment. We were her life but she was not controlling or smothering especially as we grew older.
By the time I was 16 years old I had my own phone line (it was the closest thing to a cell phone at the time I guess), a full-time job as part owner in a coffee house, was well prepared to get my driver’s license and basically lived like a roommate with my parents. When my mom was questioned by our fellow homeschool community about my freedom she would say, “Well, if she hasn’t learned how to make life giving choices at this point then I have already failed. And the things that she still has to learn I would rather help her through in the safety of home, rather than all alone.” That statement sounded kind of simple at the time, and the bit of a story may even seem out of place in this introduction. But the complexities of that statement are very far reaching. The words become more magnified to me each day as I raise my own family. It is a philosophy that can’t be implemented the day your child/young adult gets their driver’s license. It’s a mindset that starts very early on. It’s a way of life.
In talking with many of my friends, my husband, and some of the young adults we house from time to time, I have come to understand how large of a treasury of parenting knowledge I was given.
I am so thankful for the gift of who my parents are, and who my mother was. I know she was a rare and precious woman and mother. With this blog, I hope to pass along a few of the nuggets of love and principles of parenting that she lived and breathed intertwined with my own journey of becoming the mother I am meant to be.